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Lassie, The Painted Hills (1951)

Not feeling suicidal enough? This is the movie for you!

A Lassie movie which should have been “put to sleep”…. FOREVER. That’s how I’d describe this painfully dreary time-waster of a film. So mediocre in every aspect that it just becomes a dull, uninteresting mess, this is one of the most forgettable movies I’ve seen. It isn’t even an achievement as a “so-bad-it’s-good” or “so-bad-it’s-memorable” movie. The idea of Lassie turning bad is intriguing but so little actually happens, and so slowly, that you feel your life slipping away while sitting there, watching the non-actors read their lines off cue cards waiting for their measly paychecks.

It’s an empty, hollow shell of a movie. Seriously, it’s not worth wasting your, or your kid’s time on. Unless you’re both heavily medicated. That’s all I have to say.

Avoid, avoid, avoid! It will drive you barking mad! Hahahah, get it? BARKING! Hahahahahahaha!

Sorry, I’ve had a rough week.